Leave  Me On The Train To Forgivness

Sat within a locomotive moving along iced tracks .Stopping at every station along the way . Crashing though the barriers of forgiveness to every soul I’ve ever crossed . 

Sat back , head rested between the velvet cushions hugging my ears , the silver sound of humming rattles through my toes . Stopping in my chest . 

Juddering along past fields of dismay with steam bellowing through a single crack of the antique shutters . 

The bronzed clock in the middle carriage falls . A entrancing sound like a crisp new book opening as it hits the wooden floor below .  

The whistling crowds standing at the platforms . Too egar to board, it passes them by . It’s not stopping this time . 

What if finally someone is waiting for me at the next stop ? 

Lined with rusty bolts eroded by curiosity , I hear the clattering sound , no I feel it , I feel the notion sweeping over my head , like a breeze of empathy heading toward the front of the train . 

I can’t stand. I can’t move . 

Paralysed  with anticipation. Where am I going ? What does any of his mean ? 

Glancing out the window , I see everyone ,  disappointed faces , mesmerised faces staring back at me . 

Maybe I’m going to hell... maybe I’ve finally found my way , going somewhere is better than no where right ? I’ve spent so long looking for the end of the rainbow maybe just maybe my luck is finally here ?! All of these questions and theories and not one single invitation to finding out the answer . 

Baffled and confused my feet finally find the ground breath them.

We spend our whole lives , travelling ahead of ourselves , judging ourselves , judging others . 

Seeing our own imperfections ,arranging  interventions to ensure self preservation . We forget one final flaw in life . We forget forgivness . 

Colours and rainbowed dust that falls from the skies , closing our eyes , basking in its beauty , the pure magnification of self forgiving . 

Being brave and forgiving ourselves for every self doubt , every breathe we previously denied ourselves of .

We one step closer to closure . 

Closure on a life times heavy burden of misery and regret . 

Forgive . 

Forgive yourself 

Forgive others 

Embrace forgiveness and find yourself again .

Find the lighter version of you . Take it with you .

I forgive you . Now it’s your time to forgive your self . 

I love you ! 💕

The Child Army Of Four

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