I sat at the kitchen table, arms stretched out in front of me , resting my pale skinned chin upon the soft oaken table. I can hear the rustle of the wind between the crisp autumn leaves , I can smell the scented cinnamon candle burning in the back room . Thoughts running though my mind , funny how affections can change , how things that were once are no longer .
Turning tides and light houses derelict in our lives .
Grasping onto my surroundings , deep breath in, holding onto that single rush of freedom before I let go . Standing , Imagining hot sand between my toes , the warmth of the sun against my skin, the sea breezing through my hair like horses chasing the wind.
Opening my eyes , steady stars in the sky , shadows dancing through the Universe ... I let go . Freedom is lost in a single moment of exhale .
Memories rushing through my veins like a never ending stream .
Shrugging my shoulders , shaking my head , I find what I’ve left behind me so long ago .
A feeling id forgotten . A feeling that had I’d hidden away . What use has it ever been until this point .
In reality every emotion has a purpose , a consequence to our actions , a little indication that we’re human .
Self pity .
For so long I’ve disregarded such an emotion. Finding the positive in the negative continuously , finding the door to every opportunity , burying it in a treasure box , it’s not exactly a good find is it , especially in large amounts .
But today I found you again . Sounds like a bizarre feeling to want to find , but thinking logically , we need self pity , with self pity we self medicate that emotion into an action.
With strength and persistence we can channel our self pity into a constructive instruction to our self.
When your left in the darkness , you find light .
When your cold you find warmth .
With self pity we find a cure to no longer feel this way again enitiling us to move on from that emotion onto another .
With self pity we’re consumed by ourselves by our own emotions and in small quantities its in fact positive.
So today I found a copious amount of unwanted but validated self pity .
Now we can move on . Categorise every emotion and positively move on to the next .